Aura Suami

Alhamdulillah,

Semua majlis berjalan dengan lancar.
Bersyukur pada Allah SWT,
Dengan sekali lafaz,
aku bergelar suami kini.

Tapi,
Baru seminggu melayari bahtera perkahwinan,
hati kecil aku kembali terusik,
dek kenangan lama yang terlalu sukar untuk dipadamkan.

Alkisah bermula bila aku dipanggil untuk satu program temuduga jawatan kerajaan.
Program selama dua hari di pusat pentadbiran negara.
Program bermula dengan Ujian kecergasan.
Aku memang dah agak aku tak boleh,
tapi degil, nak mencuba jugak.
lastly, tewas gak masa lari² pusing padang.

Kecewa gak, sebab tinggal 1 pusingan jer lagi,
tapi ketahanan otot aku tak membenarkan aku menghabiskan ujian itu.
Dalam menahan kesakitan,
ada seorang hamba Allah datang menegur + hulurkan minyak panas,

Subahanallah, cantiknya makhluk ciptaan Allah,
Tapi cepat² aku sedar,
teringat isteri yang aku tinggalkan di rumah.
Allahu akbar.

Aktiviti sebelah malam makin mencabar keimanan aku,
bukan dek kerana cantik gadis yang menggoda nie,
tapi sebab muka dia seiras seseorang,
tambah bila dia senyum,
saling tak tumpah.
bezanya dia putih gebu,
dan kenangan aku hitam manis.

Hebat ujian Allah,
kala baru seminggu bergelar suami,
ujian yang diberikan untuk menggoncang,
jalur² kesetiaan yang aku sedang sulam terhadap isteri yang aku nikahi.

Tapi syukur alhamdulillah,
saat si gadis meluahkan perasaan,
untuk berkenalan,
aku tunjukkan cincin di jari yang disarungkan oleh isteri aku selepas ijab qabul kami,
"maaf, saya dah berkahwin. Kalau nak berkawan, boleh, tapi berkenalan sekali dengan isteri saya."
Tersentak si gadis,
tapi masih mampu menguntum senyuman,
sempat dia hulurkan namecard kepada aku,
hebat,
lulusan UK, jawatan besar dalam syarikat swasta terkemuka di kuala lumpur.

Aku hulurkan senyuman,
tanpa namecard,
Insha Allah, kalau diizinkan Allah,
kita akan jumpa lagi.

Syukur,
jalur kesetiaan pada isteri aku masih kukuh,
kamu hebat,
tapi tak sehebat isteri aku.
Insha Allah, aku doakan yang terbaik buat kamu.
Aku bersyukur atas ujian ini,
moga aku mampu hapuskan kenangan lama aku.

Futsal

It's been almost 5 years,
I leave all my favourite sport after a horrible clash while playing rugby.
That accident leave me warded for 2 weeks.

But now I rarely join my colleagues playing futsal.
Play just for fun,
Get some laugh,
and a little exercise to strengthen back my muscle & joint.

But last Friday,
A 'happy go lucky futsal' session,
turn to be 'serious life & dead game'.
I never dream to be in that kind of serious game,
since I still not fully recovered from my knee injuries.

But its too late too back off,
I already in it,
Just pray, I can face this and went home safely.

But,
last minutes terrific wrongly 'acrobatic safe',
and I just can't balance my body,
and I landing with my left knee hit the ground first.

God,
it feel like a ton of pain,
cramping my vein.
I can't fell my left leg.

I have been carried away my goal post.
I rest for half an hour,
I can walk after that, but only God know how,
the pain are killing me for each step I take.

But dear,
I know all the pain that I feel now,
can't compare with what you have going through
just because of me.

Maybe,
its my kafarah,
for what have I done to you.

Welcome To My Life

Do you ever feel like breaking down?
Do you ever feel out of place,
Like somehow you just don't belong
And no one understands you?
Do you ever wanna run away?
Do you lock yourself in your room
With the radio on turned up so loud
That no one hears you're screaming?


No, you don't know what it's like
When nothing feels all right
You don't know what it's like
To be like me


To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked when you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
And no one's there to save you
No, you don't know what it's like
Welcome to my life


Do you wanna be somebody else?
Are you sick of feeling so left out?
Are you desperate to find something more
Before your life is over?
Are you stuck inside a world you hate?
Are you sick of everyone around?
With their big fake smiles and stupid lies
While deep inside you're bleeding


No, you don't know what it's like
When nothing feels all right
You don't know what it's like
To be like me


To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked when you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
And no one's there to save you
No you don't know what it's like
Welcome to my life


No one ever lied straight to your face
And no one ever stabbed you in the back
You might think I'm happy but I'm not gonna be okay
Everybody always gave you what you wanted
You never had to work it was always there
You don't know what it's like, what it's like


To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked when you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
And no one's there to save you
No, you don't know what it's like (What it's like)


To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked when you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
And no one's there to save you
No, you don't know what it's like
Welcome to my life
Welcome to my life
Welcome to my life

Kafarah

"If you put your whole trust in Allah, as you ought, He most certainly will satisfy your needs, as He satisfies those of the birds. They come out hungry in the morning, but return full to their nests." (Tirmidhi)

Yesterday,
was a truly a bad day for me,
a day that I could remember for a long time.
Never feel so depressed like that.
I feel like I want to punch somebody face,
really hard, so many times!

But, for a moment,
that feeling fade away,
I get your SMS,
That time, I feel tremendously happy,
I can forget everything and focused only on your SMS.
On every word.
I smile,
once that day.

Think that you still remember me,
think you miss me,
like what I feel now, still miss something about you.

But today,
I realized,
It just a sign,
to show me that you are happy,
without me.

I should see it coming,
I should read the sign.
But I mislead by my feeling,
once more.

But I still remembered you said,
"Its kafarah, for our sins."

Whatever you think about me,
Whatever you say I am,
deep inside I know,
you still love me.

I'm sorry,
for make it hard for you,
It was a great moment for me,
making you smile,
for a while.

Can't Forget You

When it's said and done, you're the only one (You're the only one)
And when it's said and done, you're the only one, you're the only one

Whoever said this pain, would ever go away?
Didn’t know what it meant to, be here without you
Is everything you see, reminding you of me?
Does it hurt when you breathe too? cause it does when I do, cause it does when I do

[Chorus:]
When anybody says your name I wanna run away,
I keep remembering I can't forget you
It doesn't matter when I try it happens anyway,
It's been forever and I can't forget you
With every single day, it won't go away
The way I feel about you
And when it' said and done, you're the only one
And I can't regret you, so I can't forget you

When it's said and done, you're the only one (You're the only one)
And when it's said and done, you're the only one, you're the only one

I hate to feel this way, my days all feel the same
And yesterday was proof, that tomorrow will too
No matter what they say, can't drink it all away
Cause all that I do, is think about you, is think about you

[Chorus:]
When anybody says your name I wanna run away,
I keep remembering I can't forget you
It doesn't matter when I try it happens anyway,
It's been forever and I can't forget you
With every single day, it won't go away
The way I feel about you
And when it' said and done, you're the only one
And I can't regret you, so I can't forget you

Stop haunting my dreams
Please set me free
Stop haunting my dreams
Please set me free
(You're the only one)

[Chorus:]
When anybody says your name I wanna run away,
I keep remembering I can't forget you
It doesn't matter when I try it happens anyway,
It's been forever and I can't forget you
With every single day, it won't go away
The way I feel about you
And when it' said and done, you're the only one
And I can't regret you
Stop haunting my dreams (It's been forever and I can't forget you)
Please set me free (It's been forever and I can't forget you)
Stop haunting my dreams (It's been forever and I can't forget you)
Please set me free (It's been forever and I can't forget you)

Answer

Why do you love me?

Why you fell for me?

A lot of guys out there, surely have an experience dealing with this kind of question.

This is common question a girls will ask you on your 1st date or the 1st time you say you love them,

As always, guys got a lot of excuse to give,

I like your eyes,

lips,

ears,

nose

kindness,

style,

fashion,

smile (really common la),

pretty,

cute,

happy go lucky, etc.

Come on girls, 

Guys are created with "ready make" of thousand excuse.

They can say anything to convince you,

to win your heart.

But, read this carefully my dear, 

90% of guys answer/excuse for that question at the 1st time you ask them, is a LIE.

It is a LIE. Believe me.

90% of guys, never know what the main reason they love you.

So, they just used "try and error" system.

They only realise why they love you,

after 1 or 2 years of relationship.

So, you can see the different in their answer if you ask them again.

If they stay with you for that long,

without any complain,

or hurting you,

they really love you.

But it's not a sin to give they a chance after they have a  guts to tell you,
how they feel.
But just beware dear,
a guy who easily can say they like you,
always a type you can't depend on.

  

A Dreams~

After seven years we know each other,
never crossed my mind that we will be married one day.
As player (buaya) , I never dream to engaged to a real love lives before.
When I was a young schoolboy,
i used to have a girlfriend, but it's not love,
I just pretending to love someone so when my friend talk about their loves one,
I also have something to share.

Now, only less than 50 days before my status change from an eligible bachelor
to someone's husband.
I feel like a dream.
I need to start everything from scratch again.
I need to learn about loving,
Sharing,
Giving.

Even though,
we've been friend for almost 7 years,
it totally different.
For almost 7 years,
she only know about 8 hours of me,
but now she need to deal with the other 16 hour.
16 hours that remains secret almost 7 years.
Same goes to me.

I hope I can do as good as my father & brother done,
I can be better,
a good 'nakhoda muda'
for my future wife.

Insha Allah.

Friends~

I have a friend,
Everyone of us have a friend.
Not matter what term the relation are build of,
Feels that involve,
friend stay as a friend.

For sure you can share everything especially with your best friend.
For heaven sake, you surely trust your good friend with your life.
Because as a good friend there a bond that tie us with a promise to look each other,
prevent other from hurting one of us,
keep our secret deep inside their heart.

But, when you friend start to told other people even your own brother about your problem or anything happen
between you, he/she just break the law of bond that tie you together.
Where are the hell they put their respect towards us?
What the hell happen with the phrase "i trust you" nowdays?

If I make something wrong,
I really appreciate if my best friends be there and tell me my mistake.
If I make you fell angry, believe me, I just want to do the best for us.
I know what I feel right now doesn't mean anything to you.
I have my own reason,
But if it too much for you to accept,
just say it and leave me straight away.
I will definitely understand dear,
Don't use other person to inform me about that.
You know me better, right?
You should know the reason of my silent~

I'm Sorry.

Kadang-kadang kita cuba lari dari realiti.
Sebab kita merasakan itu jalan terbaik untuk kita.
Dan kadang-kadang kita terlalu mengikut telunjuk kata orang lain,
sebab kita yakin, that's the only choice we have.

Bila kita sedar, kita cuba nak betulkan keadaan.
Tapi mungkin terlalu lewat.
Sebab kita terpaksa berurusan dengan banyak pihak.
Banyak perasaan, hati.

Aku yakin,
salah aku cuma satu.
Terlalu takut nak meluahkan,
make my own assumption,
and just run away as far as i can.
I just forget, a simple question  2 years ago could turn my life more happier today.

I sorry,
I've make a promise to be there for u as long as i could,
But now I have someone else to look after.
I need to be fair.
Maybe i am a bad friends, the worst lover,
for once, i hope i could be a better husband.